I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
