OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize