I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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