The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Please don't give away my fajitas
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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