That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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