i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Randomize
