haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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