I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
