Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
