You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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