We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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