So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
