on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize