Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
