"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Randomize
