think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
