Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
