Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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