It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
The air taste purple.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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