Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
