At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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