Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
