You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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