So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
