you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Randomize
