About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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