He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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