I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
