I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
