There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
