Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
