how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize