Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
