i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
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