Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just want to make out with him forever
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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