OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
