whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Randomize
