Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
