ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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