It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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