This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
