some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
