remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
