Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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