I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
