Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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