real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I cannot find my penis.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
