I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
