She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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