I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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