it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
