toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
