Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
