you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
