By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
