my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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