Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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