Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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