Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize