that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
