There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
