don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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