Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
