your thong is hanging out like whoa
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
