At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
BRING THE BAGELS
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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