Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
