Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize
