Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
