You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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