just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
