the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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