Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
