Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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