Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
