I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
