in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
