Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Also, beer. Big fan.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
