Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
