dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I currently don't understand fingers.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize