That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
