whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
