so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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