Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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