If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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